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Destined for Obscurity
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in I always was and always will be's LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 31st, 2014
10:24 pm
Man, I am just like, totally fucking insane. Yep.
Monday, April 29th, 2013
9:44 pm
keya keya sorya douse ne,
keya keya sorya douse dame da.
yamerarenai yamerarenai.
douse damedakedo yamerarenai ne
keya keya sorya douse ne,
keya keya sorya douse dame da.
taerarenai taerarenai,
douse dame da kedo taerarenai ne
Monday, January 14th, 2013
10:44 pm
Sad.
Saturday, January 12th, 2013
2:34 pm
Feeling weird in a bad way. The weather is nice but I think it's throwing me off. It's 76 degrees outside today, January 12th and I don't care what anyone says, that is strange even for here. Thankfully didn't get much severe weather the other day when that huge system was passing through (unlike on Christmas when we had tornadoes...all at least 20 miles from where I was though). Maybe we're getting close to the boiling point. Every system has its limits, even the human system. In the end chaos always erodes through fail-safes and redundancies. I like to think like a pioneer, going deeper and deeper into unknown territories--those not of geography but of the future. The more pressure the "natural" exerts on the "human" the more difficult it is to sustain civilization. Consciousness is the force working against entropic decay, but if our efforts are not combined against it we will not be able to resist.

People seemed a little tense at work. Haven't watched any television news but I imagine it's all about the gun debate lately.

I don't know. I think I should be allowed to have a gun. There's no fool proof way of knowing who is going to snap and kill people. But people are going to have guns one way or the other. I think by making them illegal you will just push it into the black market, which increases the chance of "illegitimate" manufacturing, quite possibly by entities considered "terrorist organizations" by our government.

I feel I need to clarify, though, that I would have to be in a desperate, life or death situation to actually shoot someone, and then only in clear self defense, and I pray it never comes to that.

All the talk of confiscation does worry me. It too closely follows historical trends that led to oppression or genocide or both. Again it is my hope that I am only being paranoid but I do not ignore history, nor do I believe that events that occurred in the past can't happen again.

If Revolution broke out tomorrow, what would the Resistance look like? What would they be resisting?
Wednesday, August 8th, 2012
7:53 pm
diggity donky founk drounk
Thursday, June 21st, 2012
2:49 pm
I'm seeing more and more facebook statuses that make absolutely no sense. I think people are kind of forgetting how to speak, in a broad sense. So much of it is garbled nonsense! Words flippantly used for syllable-count, or at worst a totally alien language, new-speak for idiots. Language needs to evolve, not devolve. If language breaks down, so does society. We will have no choice but to become regional, local, maybe even tribal beings--and with so many people in such density, it is sure to be a disaster. If people and people groups can't communicate adequately then it is that much more difficult to maintain peace. We must be individuals, but individuals that understand one another.
Sunday, April 29th, 2012
6:25 pm
My greatest uncertainty is whether or not the universe is a never-ending cycle of energy, or is it infinite energy pouring from one "end" (God) eternally being sucked into infinite Void? Am I eternal, or will I die a true death? Will the energy that is me disappear forever?
Saturday, February 18th, 2012
8:19 pm
My dreams make elsewhere winds
My soul born of starfire
and the dust of the universe
settles in the quiet night
Monday, February 6th, 2012
12:32 pm
After being forced to be in the presence (on giant televisions in a restaurant with audio jacked up to 11) of the Super-Bowl Halftime show, I am now having trouble keeping myself praying for a nuclear strike. Does that make me a bad person?
Saturday, January 7th, 2012
11:16 pm
zombie apocalypse? sword. also, a friggin suit of steel mail. why people be runnin around in shorts and t-shirts with zombies around?! at least get some thick work clothes or a denim jacket, jeez
Wednesday, September 28th, 2011
6:57 pm
Wednesday, September 21st, 2011
12:42 am
Ohhhhh yes. The time of great madness approaches. Run into the woods! Do you smell the fires burning?

Things begin to crumble more quickly than we can assemble them, like a sandcastle at the edge of the water, the waves are too relentless.

IT has happened before, and it will happen again.
Friday, September 16th, 2011
3:24 am
Everyone must do everything for everyone else
Wednesday, September 7th, 2011
11:40 am
reading may be dangerous to mental health
I get like this every once in a while...it's the peak of a cycle that lasts several years.

I just feel more inclined to anger, to rage, to hate, lately. I know it's not good, and I don't want to feel this way. It's how I felt in middle school/the first part of high school--straight up loathing for the whole human race, close friends and family excluded. Every new person I meet makes me want to drop nuclear bombs on their heads--every news story I read, every facebook update about what some asshole/bitch did to somebody. It's worse in traffic, when someone is an asshole I entertain very serious thoughts about fishtailing their car into oncoming traffic. I'm not going to do it...but probably only cause I'd go to jail...eh, that's not true, when it comes right down to it, I'd really have to be in mortal danger to hurt someone like that.

But still. I don't like leaving the house anymore. Every time I do it pisses me off. I find about a dozen reasons to want to burn down society. Just start over.

What would be the point of that, though, really? It would just end up the same way.

Ugh...I just need to wait it out. It'll end and I'll feel that mania again that makes the world looks like it's made of cookies and sunsets.

Maybe I just needed to write that down, get it out of me.

Well, at least the weather has been nice for a few days.
Saturday, August 27th, 2011
2:33 pm
All this Hurricane hype is kinda funny. Trust me, from living in a very hurricane prone area, unless you live right on the water it's not likely it'll be any worse than a bad thunderstorm. That could still mean some bad damage in spots, but the media and the f-ing politicians are going nuts over it. I'd put down money this thing will be a light drizzle by the time it gets to New York City. For the most part only really low-lying areas or property right on the water need worry.
Thursday, August 11th, 2011
2:02 am
Generation to generation, society becomes the hyper-real. Art shaping life shaping art. I don't think it's totally explainable, and I think that's part of "the point". Nothing is made explicit, no boundaries or limits, only what we impose...yet life shows time after time that there is a "Truth" a right and wrong, that is beyond conscious imposition. Sodium and Chlorine combine to become table salt. Whether or not we convey "true saltiness" to one another, we would most likely agree that what we experience is "salty". Gravity, too, is something few people would argue is just a "man made" concept--certainly it existed BEFORE we named it?

This brings me to another point: the border of pre-linguistic and literary. Where is the cutoff? Is that not the most obvious human-generated border there is? Words are inextricably connected to the total context of the past, present, and future--they are finite infinity.

This is the essence of Paradox...

Words are, and are not, themselves.
Wednesday, June 15th, 2011
1:04 pm
We are living in a civilization our grandparents built.
Thursday, May 26th, 2011
12:33 am
In response to recent livejournal conversations, I'd like to recommend reading, or at least skimming the medieval text "The Cloud of Unknowing"--it has some interesting ideas about God and Sin, and is surprisingly relevant to modern Literary Theory.
Friday, May 20th, 2011
3:22 pm
Thus you are nullifying and making void and of no effect [the authority of] the Word of God through your tradition, which you [in turn] hand on. - Mark 7: 13

The message of Christ is not Christianity. The message of Christ is Christ.
- Gary Amirault, Former Atheist. www.tentmaker.org

MIDDLE EAST, May 15, 2011 — I see the word ‘Christianity’ as a diabolic mockery of one of the most precious verses in the Bible: And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth. (John 1: 14)

That one word has hidden Christ from millions of people down the ages, often transforming potentially true faith into mere tradition and pious pageantry.

'The Word was made flesh' - made into a man-made religion Jesus never intended.
Christianity defined by Merriam-Webster

Christianity defined by Merriam-Webster

Arguably “Christianity” may be the most powerful word coined in history. It resulted in the formation of a two billion strong global institution, which has basically rearranged the meekness, humility, authority and purposes of Jesus Christ.

Words are powerful, and writers in the genre of religion have a duty to use them wisely. Virtually no Christian writer is prepared to disown the term “Christianity” – some have hinted at its counterfeit origins, discussed its flaws, talked around it, but no one bells the cat.

Men have been enticed by religion throughout history.

Does Christianity bear witness to the truth or simply demonstrate the lure of a religious idea? Its power and spectacle has obscured the mission of Christ to preach the good news to the poor, heal the broken hearted, release the captives, give sight to the blind, and deliver those who are crushed. (Luke 4: 18)

Christianity’s edifice is enormous with dominions, lifetimes and livelihoods invested in it – it is too risky it seems to fall afoul of the establishment.

The Barna Group widely considered to be America’s leading research organization on faith and culture, produces survey after survey proving that evangelical Christian lifestyles are as hedonistic, materialistic, self-centred, and sexually immoral as anyone else’s.

Divorce is more common among “born again” Christians than ordinary Americans, and white evangelicals are the most likely people to object to neighbours of another race.

George Barna concludes, “Everyday, the church is becoming more like the world it allegedly seeks to change.”

Nonetheless, Barna has not taken a clear stand against “Christianity,” despite co-authoring a book with Frank Viola titled, Pagan Christianity, which exposes the religion’s unscriptural origins, and challenges many common modern day church practices.

Author Os Guinness is a rare exception. In his book The Call, Guinness says, “Think of the three terms Christ, Christian and Christianity. How would you describe the progression from the first to the second to the third?

Conjure up all the associations each word has and you find yourself moving in one of two directions: either from the personal to the impersonal, or from the fresh and direct to the institutional, ideological – and, too often, corrupt.

For everyone attracted by Christ, there are scores bored or repelled by “Christianity,” he writes.

“History shows that the very shift in focus from “Christ” to “Christianity” is itself a mark of corruption. The direct relationship and the dynamic way of life become a religious ideology and institution (which is why you won’t find any use of the term Christianity here, apart from its use in quotation marks or in the quotations of others),” Guinness pointedly declares, referring to his book.

Nietzsche called Christianity a narcotic.

In my experience and understanding of the faith, after nearly three decades of institutional servitude, I moved from Christianity to Christian, and finally decided I would employ no suffix to the name of Christ.

Os Guinness observes, “Christian is certainly a term used in the New Testament, but by outsiders and with the suggestion of an insult. But among themselves, the preferred term for disciples was followers of Jesus or followers of the Way.”

“Follow me,” Jesus decreed – that single-minded concentration can make all the difference for a fresh understanding of who he pointed to, and what to believe and live by.

I had a paradigm shift when the penny dropped for me; it eliminated my awe of “religious” middlemen and any inclination to denominational thinking. The most liberating of all is something I am convinced is essential for social harmony – to see people as people, not as religiously branded Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Christians, etc.

Otherwise, the great commandment of love is impossible to fulfil.

Let me take this opportunity to appeal to Christian writers to stop promoting “Christianity” in their books.

It is not the way, the truth and the life of Christ.

I will name just a few of many authors whose books I cherish in my library and hope they would see their folly: Beverly Lewis, Bill Hybels, Bob Russell, Charles Colson, Chuck Swindoll, Erwin McManus, Francis Beckwith, Francis Chan, Gary Chapman, George Barna, Henry Blackaby, Jack Cottrell, Joyce Meyer, Karen Kingsbury, Max Lucado, Philip Yancey, Ravi Zacharias, Rick Warren, Rob Bell, Stephen & Alex Kendrick, Stormie Omartian, Ted Dekker, Walter Martin, William P. Young and many, many others.

You know, there is a difference between following Christ and Christianity.

Why won’t you tell the world?
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011
5:39 pm
Spewing postmodern heresy all day long.
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